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Used Car Anyone?
A blonde tried to
sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000
miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The
brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's
not legal." "That doesn't matter,' replied the blonde, "If I only can sell
the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend
of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in
your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car
anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one
month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on
it."BLONDE GIRL'S BLONDE HUSBAND
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange
noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,
sweating and panting. "What's going on here?" he says. "I'm having a heart
attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's
dialing, his 4 year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!, Uncle Ted's hiding in
your wardrobe closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and
storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe
door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.
"You IDIOT!!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and
you're running around naked and scaring the kids!"
This Is Your Captin Speaking!
On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the
first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first
class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York,
and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked
the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move
out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm
beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the
cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a
blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and
whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section
mumbling to herself. "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight
attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move
from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.
"Hay Doc!
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her
doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regulary for two days, then skip a day,
and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at
least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "why,
that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The
blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third
day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."
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