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dem Babies In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern. . . It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor. The Redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?" Ten Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba." 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is painted in camoflage. AND the number 1 way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is... 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter." Drug Store Adventure A father and his little boy went into a local drugstore to pick up a prescription. While in the store. the little boy was browsing around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The little boy looked at all the brightly colored packages and the different types and quantities. Then, suddenly, the little boy finds his father and asks him, "Daddy, what are all those condoms?" The father, stuttered, and said, "Well, they are for protection, son" "Protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love." The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked, "Then why do these come in a package of three? The father coyly answered, "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon." "UH-HUH" said the little boy, "then, why are these in packages of six?" The father smirked, "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday, and two Sunday afternoon." "WOW" said the little boy in amazement. He then asked, "Well, then, why are these packaged a dozen at a time?" The father answered, "Those, my son, are for married men. One for January, one for February...." |
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