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What was that? Question : If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer : "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we
were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever."
~ Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't
help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
~ Mariah Carey
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
~ David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed
to pay his taxes.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your
life."
~ Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
antismoking campaign
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
~ Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the
country."
~ Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them
off."
~ Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force
nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
~ Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president."
~ Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
~ Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the
one to do it."
~A congressional candidate in Texas
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
~John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
~ Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air
and water that are doing it."
~ Former U.S. VicePresident Dan Quayle
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
~ General William Westmoreland
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.
How true that is."
~ Former U.S. VicePresident Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro
College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to
waste"
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out
from under your feet."
~ Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
~ Former U.S. VicePresident Dan Quayle
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in E84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies |
