Quickies Vol #3
Painful Puns
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft,
it sank--proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
STRESS RELIEF EXERCISE
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
3. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from that place called "the World."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a
cascade of serenity.
6. The water is clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're
holding under water.
8. There now.......feel better?
Is Y2K Really a Bad Thing?
From: Automated Payroll Processing Dept.
Date: January 1, 2000
Subject: Vacation Pay
Dear Valued Employee:
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s).
As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in
lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please
either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect
payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200
months.
CAUTION NOTICE!!:
If it looks like it could be a Y2K glitch, it may in fact be an ID10T error. Much
much more dangerous!!!! |
