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Profound Mourning" A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband." Is This Heaven !!! This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they ooooohed and aaaaaaahed, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the greatest golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is heaven, you play for free!" Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked o old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it's FREE!" exclaimed Peter "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and never get fat, and you never get sick! This is HEAVEN!!! " With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. His wife and St. Peter both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!" |
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